Lesson Three

I went back to Le Mourtis for another skiing session. I am actually starting to get some confidence now. That's partly because I have got better, but also because falling over isn't the end of the world. I still worry that I'll wreck my knee ligaments, but I'm not doing anything stupid, and I've got the hang of falling flat. Sort of.

On the way I waved two fingers at the big speed camera gantry about half way as I flew past at 100 mph again (both directions). I've been past this 7 times now, and if there is anyone paying attention, then maybe they will try to predict my movements and have a patrol car waiting one day. This is the only way they'll catch me as I've now come to an agreement with my UK insurance company, whereby they will insure me for an exhorbitant fee (£100 per 90 days on top of my normal rate) and I will be able to keep my car registered in the UK - hence there is no way for the French police to track me. I haven't asked them about whether this means I should be paying UK car tax, as I declared my car SORN last time I was home. That was £170 well saved as far as I'm concerned. The French don't seem to have any equivalent.

Anyway, as for the skiing, I only fell over twice today. Both times near the end when I was knackered, which is perhaps a good sign. One of these was coming off the button lifts too, which is embarrassing, but it is actually the first time it has happened. I'm not saying I'm a picture of elegance letting go of the darned things, but I had managed ok. This also puts you in a precarious position, as the things keep spewing out more skiers at a steady rate and if they were all as crap as me, there would be quite a tidy pile of bodies in no time.

I now have a handy cornering tip for myself, which is a joining together of two tips my instructor told me in the one hour primer I had: (1) lean forward (2) put your weight on your lower, outside, ski. My version is 'try and get your head over your outside ski tip'. Works a treat for me anyhow. I came quite close on a few occasions to performing parallel turns, which will be quite a coup when I manage it, as I'm basically winging it without lessons. The next step will be those big swoosh parallel stops, and then the red runs and then.... oh hang on a minute. Much better today though than on the previous two occasions.

I've worked out why Doctor Who keeps beating the Cybermen. If they ever got him on their natural habitat ie ski slopes, things would be different. This dawned on me when I noticed how clumsily people walk in ski boots. The mechanical thwak, thwack, thwack as they march is a dead ringer for them. Wait 'til they get a chance to put their skis on, Doctor, then you'll get your arse kicked :-)


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